Chemistry

Do you want to know what I’m thinking right now?

I think of you everyday, as if you’re mine to think.

But anyway, thoughts are unwinding in the wind, and floating just above the white froth of the waves. Then they crash. Thoughts have all the freedom in them before they crash.

I think of you everyday, just so you know. Cool drifts on the warm and smoky outside of cafés around the city, where we can talk for hours. Or not talk. Warmer thoughts when I walk alone, when I imagine our hands held, not for everyone to see but for the two of us to forget everyone. Then I snuggle inside your big bones. On the bed, when I wake up but not really waking up. On the bus, while looking past palm trees and moonlit skies. When I see children, I think of you.

Then they crash.

I jump from jump to jump. I don’t know which way. Where you begin is where I end. And so we’re never separated, don’t you think? I looked it up. Get-go is another term for beginning. Have we hoped to begin? I could almost see that desire texturize. Fire. Up towards. Still sizzling on the every here and every now. Always on the get-go.

Don’t bother. Our before is not our before. I supply my own words in my mute mouth as if they’re true, as if they could save me from the crash. But hey, get-go lover, our now is our now.

Hush now, in your skin I disappear. (That is all I think about.)